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Achewood
Cat & Girl
Cockeyed
Defective Yeti
Deuce of Clubs
An Entirely Other Day
Laughing Squid
Maakies
Peace Dividend
Perry Bible Fellowship
The Sneeze

2008aug24. Drive out the blues with IPCO creamy snuff. How to apply and what happens?

2008aug16. Friday. Not Saturday. It’s Saturday over there. East coast ... West coast.

• Bruce Lee’s screen test for the “The Green Hornet.”
• One Square Inch House.
• Missed Connections.
• Pictures for Sad Children: Tiny kitten beers.
• HU-MANS: I IMPLORE YOU TO INGEST MY SPACEUAL CREAM
• Dixie PerfecTouch. When you really need to use a sturdy washable re-usable container, why not use PerfecTouch instead?
• Taipei 101’s giant mass damper ball doin’ its thing during the quake. The music kills me. “La la la, hey wow that thing’s really movin’!”
• Semi-amusing: The Class of 1913. Scroll down to the table.
• Pictures for Sad Children: Poor People Have Got Sore Junk.
• Photo: quiero lluvias.
• Italy: Protest balls. Don’t worry, Katie Couric never shows up.

2008aug15. Special thanks to the person who generously jammed a bunch o’ cash in the tip jar awhile back. Verynicethankyou.

2008aug15. Magnus Pyke, the scientist sampled on Thomas Dolby’s “She Blinded Me With Science.”

Although Pyke was known for bringing science to a lay audience, in The Science Myth (and similar writings, such as Slaves Unaware?) he was also a critic of how the citizens of industrialized nations have historically been lured into social conformity by the comforts and security offered by applied sciences or technology, and the associated industrial economic propaganda and advertising. This has entailed the loss of important individual freedoms in the name of an ever-increasing gross national product or standard of living, measured monetarily, with some associated negation of independent human values, common sense and individuality, family and community, health, safety and ergonomics. In his 1962 book, he uses the Greek myth of Procrustes and his Procrustean bed as a metaphor for how citizens are forced to conform to the one-size-fits-all rigid structure of the modern industrial society. He cites associated problems such as coronary disease related to diet, psychological and social problems stemming from work related stress and training, “ ... softly and persistently hammered into shape until – Pinocchio in reverse – from being a living creature ... becomes for forty hours an insensate puppet ... ” and educational systems, which “knock out of the ingenious adolescent all of the ‘nonsense’ of the young, this being most of his or her eagerness and ingeniousness.” However, the Western work environment fails youthful expectations to an even greater extent than the schools. “At school, success is judged in terms of work, whereas in industrial life this is not so ... ” after young people hasten to leave school for the benefit of the social significance of the work, rather than for the work itself, they find that “Work seldom seems to the worker to have meaning or worth ... ” and “achievement is judged by the pay envelope which may have no relation to the difficulty of the work.”

SCIENCE!

2008aug15. Mail.

Nothing happened to disco balls. You got older (it happens to a lot of us), and you stopped going to the Danceteria. So now, you never see disco balls. I don’t even have to look on the internet to know that a wide variety of disco balls are available to you right now in exchange for cash (DURABLE GOODS!). You have to be partyin’ to see disco balls. The disco ball asks itself, “Whatever happened to that guy?” Meaning you. I stopped going to the Danceteria a long time ago. I used to get up on the platforms because it was less crowded, and the platform lesbians would rub up against me. Everyone’s a winner at the Danceteria. That’s the truth.

2008aug15. PingMag: Sento: A Glimpse Into Japanese Bathing Culture. Guy with bucket.

2008aug13. Mail.

I like the easy ones, the ones you go “here’s a meatball pitch” and you just slide into the whole of it. I don’t even have to answer these types of questions. I just know that I could, and it would be hilariously awesome.

First tell me where Peoria is.

Yes, I will ship to Florida. The breakdown:

$24.00 Twelve (12) bottles of Charles Shaw
$30.00 Shipping
$50.00 Handling
----------------------------
$104.00 Total

Thank you,
Cardhouse Ro-Bot.

No reply. I don’t know what the problem is here, I gave her the retail price for the Chucks, and the typical ebay seller markup on shipping and handling ... Florida, I am aching to serve you super-cheap wine ... aching ...

She is out right now, but I’ll tell her you wanted to speak with her.

Get a new girlfriend who has a different “mobile phone.” Danielle?

I am not good with the Spanish but I think I helped you out of a jar of some sort.

I will use my brain to create names.

Mid-Atlantic (Pacific, Trans-Continental, etc) Electrical Telegraphic Network Ornamentation & Pattern Concern
Web 5.3 Design
Honda (you may have some legal problems with this one)
Webwebweb Design Co.
Webual Helps
The Poison Web Design Company (the sassy promo bottles you mail out will have clients wondering if the liquid inside is unsafe to imbibe. the answer of course is up to you ["no.” { or is it? (“still no.”)}])
Kitties!
The Web Was Much Groovier Back In ’99. Company.
G.O.L.D. Webkillers
Web Hash Browns (everyone likes hash browns to some extent)
Webwebwebwebweb Design Co.
Parker & Johnson Web Design (Parker is a no-nonsense, prim and proper “by the book” female web designer; Johnson is a reckless rough and macho male hard coder who could use an hour in an autoclave. This clash of hi/lo cultural touchstones creates a simmering, potent symbiosis laced with raw sexuality beneath their daily shouting matches. Will they ever learn to see each other eye-to-eye ... and perhaps even turn up the heat? Tune in every Wednesday at 9pm Mountain Time on ABC!)
Theraflu (more legal hurdles)
webstylelifeGO!
Make The Scene With Our Hot Shot Web Design Right Here Yes Indeed GmbH
We Will Design A Website For You Then You Give Us Money Then We Spend That Money On Booze Company
Flo’s Pet Store
Any Website for $19.99 And Up Brothers
The Web Oil Company (oil companies in general are doing quite well these days)
Butter Web Design (this would be like a novelty name; correspondingly, your entire office would be coated in butter)
Syrup Web Design (see previous entry)
Cement Tacklers (I don’t know what this one means)

Another thing you can do is take two unrelated easy-to-spell words and ram them together, so you’re right around the corner, google-wise.

Hotelmagnet Web Design
Pizzacouch Web Company
Couchmagnet Web Thing
Magnetpizza Web Discourse

There’s a myspace user named “Couchmagnet”? More legal consultations.

I’m liking the hotel thing though. It emphasizes solidity in my mind, which sits soundly in the “plus” column whereas the net is so amorphous, like aerogel (though in aerogel’s case, that’s a definite plus so come up with some other negatively-amorphous thing on your own time). Hotel [classy word here] Web Design.

Last multi-tip: don’t be dumb and make some sort of spelling pun. It’s all about what you think when you see the word, and what you hear. If your company name is a homonym/homograph/homophone/heteronym, that’s just ... ugh. “Lead Technologies” – good example of a horrifically stupid name.

2008aug03. Mail.

Our love spray division was shuttered after several incidents of, how shall I put this, “high carnality” on the factory floor. “Shit’s too potent,” the pantsless division manager was heard saying some days before the line was finally shut down. Perhaps you would enjoy some of our candy cigarettes instead?

2008jul26. Ron Paul on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. 2002. Again: 2002.

2008jul25. Video: Vincent Bugliosi’s opening statement. Many more in sidebar.

2008jul22. Currently kicking myself for not thinking of Cake Wrecks. The writing is swell, the cakes suck; win-win. Yeah, I used a semi-colon. I went there. You want a piece of me, shrimp scampi? Didn’t think so. ;;;;;

2008jul22. Mail.

Kind of happy to oblige.

They have tiny names, in Istanbul.

And you sent your email address! How thoughtful. I have passed this information along to a number of third-party vendors who can help you with your problematically small penis.

J ain’t got nothing on the Easter Bunny, who blew me in an alley once. I mean, I think it was the Easter Bunny ...

Yay. The mail that wears me down is here. Yip.

All gone.

2008jul14. Cities for Living.

2008jun26. Shredding the Constitution: cheap date. Nancy got $24500. We couldn’t come up with $25000+ for Nancy and the rest of the whores? Where did the telecoms get the money to pay off the dems? They probably just took it out of the $200 BILLION they stole from us. We paid them to pay off the dems to finish shredding that dumb ole’ piece of paper. Statement from Ron Paul. Ex post facto, ex post facto ex fucking post fucking facto.

2008jun24. Deuce of Clubs: Riding the public.

2008jun23. Mission Pie. Noted for the phrase “With pie as our ally ... “

2008jun23. That first video link is dead, try this: George Carlin Who really controls America? [3min].

2008jun23. George Carlin RIP. Who really controls America [5min]. Life is Worth Losing [74min]. More videos. [wiki]

2008jun20. Frida.

Clive Owen for Lancome Maniacal Photoshopping Anti-Aging Extract Bullshit Creme.
The Curious Case Of The Microfiber Cleaning Textile That Was Environmentally Safe And Stuff But Mysteriously Ignored By The Public In Favor Of Noxious Harmful Chemicals Ick
TED: Phillipe Starck. I love this guy. I would take a bullet for him, if it wanted to go to the zoo or ride around in go-karts.
Jellyfish bad day.
Vending Machine of Action.
Snoring duck.
Fiber: It’s Not A Joke The Way It Works.
Arrows that unfurl into extra-large delicious pizzas on contact; cluster bombs that sound off the musical number “Hello, Dolly” when dropped in sequence
TED: Sculptor Arthur Ganson.
Thin owl from Japan also does puffy thickness.
Arrrrrr Matey, let’s sail the seven seas of Hexachlorophene! “Nevertheless, hexachlorophene soap is not available over the counter today, because once a product has been withdrawn by the FDA it is virtually impossible for it to be reinstated, even after invalidation of the reasons for its removal.” Every day I find a reason to luv my guvmint, even when I’m not looking. “SOAKS CHILDREN CLEAN AUTOMATICALLY”
Junkfood Science: The Big One. Eat delicious banana cream pies every seventeen minutes. Break for a sensible lunch. Then, coco-nut cream pies at roughly the same pace.
SABBATH MODE BEEP BOOP

2008jun16. EU considers second vote on new sports arena

2008jun15. Greening the desert, a short video. This additional interview with Geoff Lawton explains what happens when the government (Iraqi, in this case) disappears: nothing.

” ... There was no government, there was no customs and there was no department of any government left in place whatsoever. There was no law, really. [ ... ] everything was functioning fine. There was fresh food everywhere, there was plenty of food. Most services were working. Water and electricity and telephones went off at times, but most of the time were up and running.”

2008jun14. Democracy Now: Citing Iraq War, Renowned Attorney Vincent Bugliosi Seeks The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder.

I may be sounding presumptuous to you right now, Amy and Juan, but I’m telling you this: I am going after George Bush. I may not succeed, but I’m not going to be satisfied until I see him in an American courtroom being prosecuted for first-degree murder.

2008jun12. I was going to Ocean Beach today but five girlteens blocked the way. They were on the steps that descended into sand. The beach. They had all stopped there for some reason. I was behind them, waiting. Some of the girlteens were wearing backward baseball caps. One girlteen spoke for the rest: “I ain’t steppin’ in that shit!” And this was the problem. The problem was the sand. They had to step in that shit to get to their friends, who were on the beach, smoking marijuana. Would they? Would they step in the shit? After several seconds of quiet consideration, the quandary was resolved. They stepped in the shit. They were able to join their friends smoking marijuana.

2008jun10. The 35 articles of impeachment introduced by Dennis Kucinich yesterday. Not covered by NYT FOX CBS ABC CBS CNN etc mmm big MSM luv you bet

2008jun03. The Nearly Unfathomable Depths Of Pentagon Corruption. Long article. Plenty of butter when the idiots go to war. Print more money.

The item was a small appliance, a toaster. It should have cost under $20 dollars on the open market, but Halliburton had charged almost $2,000 for each one. And it was a big number of them in the order so Halliburton had netted about $1.2 million from picking them up cheap at a discount appliance warehouse. They had not even made the item. It was worse than that. They had ‘fenced’ the items--they were stolen. They had no bill of sale for them and did not even order the parts they went into the manufacturing of them. They had raided the discount appliance warehouse pretending that they were FBI officials and the toasters had to be picked up because “they caused house fires".

Just like Halliburton over billed, some Halliburton employees were collecting three US govt. salaries; one from the Pentagon, one from the FBI, and one from the CIA.

2008jun01. Eat the Rich, Phase IV: The Rich Get Imperceptibly Closer To Us And They Don’t Wike It. I can almost taste those succulent meaty thighs right now.

2008may30. What I like about Unbeatable Banzuke is the humility. In American reality shows, there’s always a winner, and we have to sit and listen to immature idiots trash-talk and pre-preen. With Unbeatable Banzuke, pretty much everyone wipes out on various obstacle courses (stilts, skateboard, pushing your spouse around in a cat-shaped wheelbarrow, etc), and if someone does succeed, they re-jigger the course so invariably even the previous winner (and in the case of stilts, a Guinness world record holder) can’t complete it. Plus, strutting is almost non-existent. One more nice thing: the age range. So far I’ve seen people from 14 years of age to 68, and I’m sure it expands out farther than that. The shitty thing: apparently Very Smart Marketers have determined that the Unbeatable Banzuke demographic consists of drooling tools who are easy pushovers for stupid “work at home"-type sca – oh, hold on, a talking fox is telling me how to flip houses in my spare time.

2008may30. Clublife: Stop. The man is pushed too far. I have this problem with oncoming traffic making a left turn in front of me while I’m putting along. In the past, I would reflexively slow down to give the driver ample room to complete the turn. Now, I reflexively check the rearview mirror. If there’s no one behind me, this indicates to me that the driver is an can’t-wait-five-seconds-asshole, and I can proceed at speed to find out if he or she has successfully threaded the needle. I am starting to understand some of the fringe benefits of being older.

2008may30. Frida.

Japanese capsule vending machines. I bought a capsule in a sleepy mid-Japan town while I was sweating bricks at a Japanese grocery store – I had forgotten the combination to a borrowed bike lock guarding my borrowed bike. It was a giant bug but it was not in a can. The capsule, not the bike, though that was also not in a can. So I sat around for ten minutes making semi-educated guesses until I remembered it. And that’s ... [claps hands] my Japanese capsule story!
Super creepyawesome Hello Kitty Sewing Machine.
Occasionally someone posts a photo to my sup-r-rad Flickr Fake Products: Mutant Knock-Offs Pool Thing that really goes for the gusto. “I don’t know his name, but his face rings twenty bells, at least.” Also enjoyable: lovely rat.
Flash of insight. The out-of-place board confuses the man for a second.
The NYT covers miracle fruit. Good, now the price will come down. Included in the article a pointer to the recently published book Fruit Hunters: A Story of Nature, Adventure, Commerce, and Obsession which has to be awesome. How can you screw something like that up? It’s like pancakes. I guess you could burn pancakes, but what’s more important than watching pancakes being created? Sex. If you have a randy line cook, you might want to skip the stack. A comment in this rundown of a miracle fruit tasting party indicates that miracle fruit plants have been found in the Houston area for $35 last year.
Decay. Something here for everyone. Series of photographs by the photographer who shot Dice: Deception, Fate, and Rotten Luck.
P-14 unleashed.
Molecular visualizations of DNA. Want more. Mysterious non-narrated section near end. Fill in the gaps yourself! “Here we see blobs totally going into some blobular matrix and being de-blobified.”
Robyn – Be Mine (Ocelot Remix). So worth it. Had no idea we were so flexible, must find ways to exploit this new knowledge. They totally slo-pitched bubble gum gal.
Skydiving into football stadium. I don’t care about the bee, it’s just amazing how fast this happens.
TED: Paul Staments: Six ways mushrooms can save the world.
Le saberage: opening a bottle of champagne with a sword. Probably just a quick review for most of you.
Hide ‘n’ seek w/polar bear. I would hide somewhere warm but not a zoo. I have a minor in Polar Bear Hiding so I know what I’m talking about. It is: hiding from a polar bear.
A meditation on consumerism.
Adam Curtis (BBC): The Trap [ 1 2 3 ].
It’s also been far too long since we’ve checked in with Heath Bunting

2008may23. As some Greek cat once said, the unexamined life is not worth living. So I’ve been looking at myself for ten minutes here and I’ve come the conclusion that fleshtone is one of the most unappealing color shades there is. Hand me a Pantone fan and ask me to pick a color or two to paint a room, my car, or a hopechest – flesh is going to be one of my last choices ever. There should be easy ways to change our skin color, add racing stripes, etc. I’m going to get some colloidal silver and make a difference.

2008: jan feb mar apr may 2007: jan feb mar apr may jun jul aug sep oct nov dec

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