Let's talk about bicycle infrastructure in the East Bay so I can practice being annoying and strident.
This is one set of bike racks in the Berkeley Marina just a bit East of Adventure Playground. You can see a second set in the distance, and there are other smaller sets here and there. There are some good things here. Metal goes into ground, no bolts available for unbolting. Tube is square, pipe cutters are right out. Good spacing between the racks: two bikes per rack, one on each side. Far enough away from the street (which has very low use and is calm [FX: pets street]). Works for box bikes/long johns/bakfiets. Big points for being in a very public spot (next to benches!) with a lot of foot traffic/next to a coffee stand instead of tucked behind an out building because eww bikes and/or real estate is for cars. This factor is where most racks are seriously downgraded.
Bad things: no welded cross metal bar. The metal bar is to prevent one-and-done situations that obviously occur more frequently with bolted racks when one side is unbolted etc. But the bars also keep locking hardware away from the ground, which thieves use to gain leverage on locks. I haven't read anything here or there about the circle shape v. the "Portland staple" but I've always personally found these circular types to be more aggravating than the regular vertical staple shape when locking up. Finally I am completely tired of locking up next to garbage cans. Just, let's isolate those garbage cans out there (there's just enough room on the "can side" please touch the can rub against it please rub rub). Don't make me drag them to the parking lot. I'm also assuming that there's no internal wire hanging inside the tubes to give angle grinders the business. It's a nice surprise for the grinder set. B-, mostly for the missing cross bars.
These are the bike racks just outside the El Cerrito BART station. In the foreground you can see some ignored "give us your bank account and id and" BikeLink lockers. Good: regular vertical staple shape. Two of the four bolts are mushroom head. There is more than one staple.
Bad: staple is too narrow. For those who use more than one lock, there might be a slim possibility of locking both the front and back tires/frame with these, guessing no. I'll do some measurements. The other two bolts are standard hex nut. Tube is round, good for pipe cutters. More points off for no internal wire, again, just a guess. No cross bars. Finally, what the ever living fuck were they thinking with this layout. Can we make the Useless Semicircle Of Nothing tighter? Good luck locking more than one bike on this set. What an amazing waste of space, what a delicious bizarre boondoggle. Was this assignment given to an architect [FX: cut to Frank Lloyd Wright filing some Johnson-Wax papers sitting on his three-legged chair, for a brief moment]? If you lock a cargo box/bakfiets/long-tail/john to that mess, you're blocking how many other spaces. Great job all around. Ignoring everything else, just the layout alone knocks it down to an "E." See me after class.
Maybe a yearly award is the most irritating way to go about this. Thinking. Most likely I'm just going to make exhaustive checklists/diagrams and send them to organizations/businesses/governments/pets. I have criticisms to crit! [FX: lightly foams at the mouth] (2026may18)
THE PROBLEM WAS that two of the giant thumbnails had large images of people I didn't really want to see all giant like that so now video thumbnails are actually thumb-sized at the right, perhaps you've noticed. I learned a trick from the amazing tech of autonomous vehicles, if you can't provide the service, just fake it ... so I'm hand-carrying the first half of this nonsense so I can take a little vacation from dealing with the code. I warned myself years ago not to mess with it ‒ the note had swears. I've mentioned this.
Also, it is a bit beyond the first anniversary of the ebike and 2nd anniversary of the Dutch bike. The ebike responded by putting a little wrench icon in the lower right of its display (that does not have a clock wtf wtf wtf), which means bring it in for routine maintenance. Pass.
I haven't had to increase the counter of people getting aggro in my face about wanting my bike, so that's nice.
Drivers routinely hit their brakes hard enough to go into a skid usually about twice a month and I see it coming a mile away. They still wave to indicate "yes, you're a bike and I've cut you off, I am aware of it, my bad ... actually, gonna keep doing it, fuck you all." I've been caught off guard once this year, and that was because got-damn BART is loud ‒ bike path is directly under it. I am usually prepped for the temporary hearing loss, it was just a confluence of factors. Nothing has been anywhere as close as the roided out truck idiot peeling out of the wonderful Seabreeze Market & Deli.
(I changed that to "twice a month" and then thought "really?" and went to get groceries and a guy in a beater car dramatically skidded to a stop [the light had been red for him for awhile] while I was in the intersection. "Dangit, that bike might mess up my undercarriage")
Speaking of BART, hats off to the innovative BART train driver that chucked a half-full bottle of Gatorade or some other brightly colored sports drink out of the window, 20 feet down to the pavement about ten feet in front of me. I wrote BART about it, no answer. I'm sure there are high-level meetings going on right now.
Anyway, now I ride 20+ miles a day on the ebike. It's not the "e" part as much as it's the gearing for hills. The Dutch bike is single speed, coaster brake. I'll look into getting a geared Dutch bike, probably will take another year+ to find one.
I'm thinking of starting an annoying bike infrastructure advocacy group. It will not spell out anything (Bicycle Infrastructuralists Kollaborting Entrepreneurially B-I-K-E etc) and there will be nice desserts at every meeting. (2026may15)
Undecided with Matt Ferrell: How Invisible Lasers Are Making Roads Safer [15m].
Obviously have some friction with the script ("jaywalking") and subject content but good to know there's something less invasive than cameras on the horizon. ... That unfortunately will have weak adoption rates because governments and companies and everyone wants your data data data data. Genuine surprise if camera systems are actually replaced with LIDAR anywhere in the US. (2026may14)
Stationery Tips XVII. China markers/grease pencils have a small string on them so you can pointlessly tug at a thing that does nothing. You can also peel layers away, sometimes, and then too much falls off and the core isn't supported so it snaps off. Get you a large-bore crayon sharpener and use that to sharpen them up. Wow, what a difference you are welcome. Finally, a grease pencil sharpener for my generation. (2026may13)
Murder of Couriers Trailer [2013; 3min]
Available on Kanopy for free, you just need a library card.
Clip: "Going for the Feta" (2026may12)
Big fan of Amsterdam bike policies etc but occasionally I cock my head to the side and go "erwowr?"
"Check out Amsterdam’s cool new Puccini bicycle racks"
Okay I will give them "new." If you follow the links someone governmenty or the like indicates that these bike racks are an additional format to the beloved staple-type bike racks. In this cub reporter's opinion, Puccinis are eww. The City of Portland has a little thing about these types of racks:
"Some bike styles are extremely heavy such as e-bikes and cargo bikes. Others, such as recumbents, are awkward to lift. Additionally, some people may have physical limitations preventing them from lifting their bikes. A good bike rack should not require someone to lift their bike into place."
But do not sleep on the most important criterion of a good bike rack: "Does not have gaps where both width and length are between 3.5 inches and 9 inches in width." "Why this is important: Children can trap their heads in gaps this size." Kids, the bike rack is not a toy.
Thinking about it a bit, most every time a bike is locked to a bike rack there's going to be a kid-head friendly gap created just waiting for exploration. Perhaps I need to install some wood panelling on my bike. Bystanders: "for those kid heads, yeah?" "Yeah."
My name is Cardhouse Ro-Bot, I am here representing the United Kid Head Gap Prevention/Hazard League, and I want to tell you a story. First slide please. (2026may04)
Someone replaced the battery in the endlessly chirping smoke alarm at the local Grossout.
After a year.
Not sure what the rush is, fire is patient.
"Hey. Take your time, I'll just burn this rack of discount bread while you get sorted" FWOOOSH WHOOOSH (2026may04)
Lies I Tell Myself Part XVIII.
I go to a discount grocery store commonly known as "Grossout." It is somewhat like a slot machine. The items vary from day to day. Sometimes, there is nothing you need/want. Sometimes, there is a lot. On those days, if there are multiple desired snack items, I say to myself, well, I can buy this big tub of local coffee ice cream, and these hatch chili tortilla chips, and that will last me two days each sequentially ... a total of four days of snacking.
What actually happens is that if I buy n snack items, I will no longer have any snacks within 24 hours, for any value of n.
I have been keeping up this charade for decades now. I'm a professional. Is charade italicized? Charade. (2026apr24)
Folding Ideas: Why was I invited to Beast Studios? [1h18m].
Mr. Beast Inc. actually did the exact right thing but they'll never apply the lessons in the video, because they can't. They're stuck in their bizarro artless anti-intellectual anti-labor spend more big numbers death loop.
This isn't about any of the controversies (they're briefly touched upon), this is the core of the phenom. Line goes down, apparently eight year olds are a fickle bunch and word on the street is that AI slop is giving them the dopa hit better than BeastTV.
The anti-intellectual thing is straight from Donaldson's mouth in at least one interview, it explains a lot. (2026apr18)
The other day I received an email from a well-known, immense financial service. "Hey, how's about a little feedback on your recent merchant blah-blah blah." I checked the header, everything looks legit. I have never merchanted with this multinational money thing. That was a fun puzzle I will never solve, I thought as I deleted and super-trashed the message. Perhaps someone has my identity. Better them than me, really. The only spam I've been getting lately is from a computer "algorithm" masquerading as a person who has apparently hacked my "cam" and knows what I've been doing (perversions). I don't have the heart to tell them I don't own a camera, which makes for dad-joke fun times during video meetings with my dysfunctional art collective: "No one said anything about my new glasses"
Somewhat relatedly, The Pez Outlaw documentary is now available on Kanopy, which is free if you have a USA library card. There was a bit wherein I knew what was going to happen, roughly, before the decision was made, and I was all "NOOOOO DONNNNNN'T" like that. I have one-half of a toe dipped in the same Eastern European candy manufacturing world for different reasons right now, but my reaction was more about red-flagging the somewhat-familiar Upping The Ante personality quirk.
Someone yelled "nice bike" at me while I was riding the e-bike, which is the first time. I don't think much of any e-bike design, much less the one I own. 99% of them look clunky/dorky. Took me awhile to process the yell, by the time I figured it out I was out of earshot range. "Norse bite?" "Nurse night?"
E-bike wise I think Bike 42 Long ("up to 4 kids") is eye-catchy but nothing comes close to bikes like these. I mean specifically the omafiets "grandma bicycle" "step-through" type, you know, like the one I have. Not enamored of the nut bar. "Butt it makes it more stable" Lacking the nut bar, thousands of omafiets are constantly falling apart all over Amsterdam. Free bicycle parts strewn all over the streets. Woo what a dilemma. "Yeah apparently it's time to go off on the nut bar again, this is the stuff I come back for, it's like a hearty meal" (2026apr17)
Not Just Bikes: Every Reason to Hate Cars [48min].
In unrelated news, I was going to post an image I ran into today. It was for a "Girl Action Dynamic Pose References" for artists. 303 illustrations of women. But ... it was all AI. Yes, artists of the future, learn how to draw in the bullshit slop bucket AI way. Finally now you can replace the machines replacing you with creepy garbage.
Decided against posting it, I know some people have sensitive stomachs.
Anyway, someone thought this would be a good idea. They probably spent more time making the graphic for the "References" than they did really concentrating and coming up with good AI prompts.
Here's an AI prompt you can type in if you are interested in generating AI art. "How do I kick myself in the junk."
Arc Raiders is not pinball. A semi-thorough examination of problems currently plaguing the popular computer video game. (2026mar21)
Was mulling on opening up the Arc Raiders can o' WTF worms but then remembered I still had another deeeeep-think piece about Watch Dogs: Legion sitting around. I mean, the thing still has hundreds of daily players so this might reach one or two of them. (2026mar13)
Documentary Central: A Tuba To Cuba [2019; 1h23m].
Amazing travelogue of Preservation Hall Jazz Band's trip to Cuba to explore their musical roots. Beautifully shot/composed.
There was a brief clip of Mr. Okra, who passed away in 2018 RIP.
I was down in New Orleans 2008 and Mr. Okra drove by:
ProcessX: Process of making hiking boots. Handmade shoes made by Japanese craftsmen [24min].
Entrancing. Yes, that is correct, I posted a makin' hikin' boots video in 2022. This one is a different one. There are two now. They are friends. (2026feb28)
I am E-Z to please, just get me a < $3 can of coffee for Christmas. That's coming up, right? [LQQKS at calendar] "Huh." Well, Arbor Day. Anyway, I was buying up fat stacks of some coffee ($1/can) from Grossout, not really knowing what it is. I just read the ingredients, took a ballpark guess at caffeine % (not listed, but lower than normal, turns out), went w/a can a day. Many cans later, finally looked on the bottom. MFG 2025 EXP 2026. Okay, so a company died or something. "Florence By Mills Coffee." What in the Sam By Hill is that name. Main URL is tot. More research. Blah blah actor blah. Okay. More. Oh. It's Eleven from Stranger Things, a show I've seen approximately seven minutes of many years ago. So. Stapling everything together, looks like this coffee jazz took a dive mid-2025, and they dumped the remaining cans on the secondary market. The fun reason I mention this is because there are five skabillion articles about the celebrity starting various businesses and zero articles about any of those things ending. Except now, you're in the know. It's a service I provide. I might be wrong. But if there's no website for six months and Walmart is out of stock of every flavor ... going with dead. I still have some cans left. To the Ebaymobile!
PS If you haven't explored the world of cheap thin-can coffee, don't. I've gone through so many brands and 95% of them were not good (Japan's BOSS Coffee is good; this ends the list of current good thin coffee brands I'm aware of that is not owned by some rat-fuck megacorp). Florence By Mills Coffee was good, but now it's gone and I will savor the remaining cans like this: [FX: savors]. Though wasteful Florence By Mill Coffee "pods" apparently still exist along with a $149 Florence By Mills coffee machine thing. Maybe. (2026jan15)
One of my new year's resolutions is to block even more useless/annoying sites at the hosts level. One particular site already makes my skin crawl with all of their haughty users "answering" questions by openly insulting people/rejecting the question outright/answering completely incorrectly (this is nothing new, I think it was the CEO who acknowledged some of this years ago) ... there's this jackass sidebar of unrelated slop for every post. This was half of the garbage on a test query "duh global variables function python duh." B L O C K E D
I like chewy info-dense websites but this can get stuffed in a bin. [UPDATE] There was this odd technical problem I was having, years ago. I posted a question on this very website. Hey, here's something really wrong and odd, anyone else out there having that problem? Does anyone know what this is actually supposed to do? Got tumbleweeds for a year, then the moderators deleted it. But Nicodemus, that shit's important. Vulcan's first contact species. Keeper right there. Guess you gotta do boffo eyeballs to stick around. (2026jan03)
